The Creature From The Orange Lagoon

No, that’s not Carmen Electra or Diana Ross…
Jessica Simpson
I now invite you to sign the following petition:

Dear Jessica Simpson,
Sometimes in life, there is a fork in the road. I’m afraid that you’ve chosen the wrong path. I understand that you were in Las Vegas this weekend — That is no excuse for that insane fake tan. I also understand that you hosted a performance by the Pussycat Dolls — That does not make that amount of tah-tah acceptable. And really, there is no way to explain anything that is happening with your hair or that eye-liner.
Please just be blonde again, cover up your business, and be dumb.
That’s why we love you — or at least tolerate you.
Love,
America

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2 Comments to “The Creature From The Orange Lagoon”

  1. katie, i love you more and more with every post.

  2. hahah. you are awesome.

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